S A B R I N A
Same mother, different fathers.
This post is about sisters. My sister Sabrina.
I play her in our movie Jezebel. This has been the most intimate way to understand her. Stepping into her skin and having to express myself through her too.
My sister is a quiet warrior. She doesn't say much in crowds. She commands her own space wherever she goes. She's friendly, yet guarded. She's dominant, yet soft and supple. She has a hidden tenderness.
As kids we weathered some pretty harsh climates together. It wasn't just us. There were 8 total. But she was the one I looked up to. She was the one who protected me at all costs. Together we have pieced our once chaotic lives into order.
When she first told me about "internet modeling" (I was 19 she was 24) I was very curious as to what that was. Our family had lived in Las Vegas long enough that the adult industry was quite normalized. Billboards and advertisements were everywhere on how to make a quick buck with your body- whether that was as a showgirl or cocktail waitress. Women were to be put on display and gazed upon. But this was not to be an empty exchange. You would be paid handsomely for it.
I didn't know what a fetish was when I went to go work for the site. I learned quickly and it was fascinating to me as all human behavior is. Why does a dangled bare heel arouse? What is the root of the desire to be punished and disciplined? My curiosity and amusement has never waned.
My sister would unpack these questions with me, always with humor, always with irony. We had many a good laugh about it all and we still do. She gave me the early permission to be who I am in all aspects. Sisters can do that in a way mothers can't. The mirroring, the whispers, the giggles. Nurturing in the space of mischief.
I hope I've brought my sisters heart to the screen. I hope I show the side others rarely see.
This movie is on its way to the finish line. We wrapped the Los Angeles shoot dates.
(THANK YOU CAST AND CREW AND ANGELS)
Now we are on to the edit. I'm excited about the molding and carving. Editing is creative surgery. Shout out to Brittany Lyles who is the lead operator under the hood.
If you want to push us forward in this marathon drop some money on our GOFUNDME page.
Still thinking about my sister? Today she describes herself as Ms. Livia, a lifestyle #FemBOSS Go ahead and click if you want to be a pay pig. LMAO.