Once upon a time I lived the whirlwind of a short lived marriage. He was intelligent, I was impetuous. He was French - I am Haitian. He was conservative, I'm a moderate liberal. Perhaps our union was doomed from the start, but our love, friendship, and willfulness pushed us forward. His world and mine weren't ones we would anticipate intersecting - yet our chance meeting at a restaurant made for the perfect - how'd you two meet? - story.
When cracks surfaced I thought they were charming like the weathered leather on my favorite jacket. I'd even lean into it for something too good to be true was just not for me. I expected trouble, therefore there was trouble. And I know I caused trouble.
Separating and then divorcing brought pain and relief at the same time. A most peculiar blend of emotions, that I hadn't felt again until recently. Once I realized what these current feelings reminded me of I felt a sudden comfort and confidence that I could experience this and come out the other side. Giving myself permission to feel deeply was a great moment.
I read a great blog from Mikki Bey about her recent appearance on Shark Tank where she was reprimanded quite harshly by investor Barbara Corcoran telling her to cry in private and not bring any tears into business. Mikki wasn't crying to manipulate her employees - she was having a human moment in a high stakes competition where her business - therefore her life in many ways was on the line. I reached out immediately to lend my support.
For all the entrepreneurs running a business - not a hustle- a BUSINESS. It's ok to feel, It's ok to express your feelings. (Alright alright hustlers can feel too) But we need more human beings. You risk a lot in showing up that way, but the alternative is masking yourself to the point of not recognizing who you really are anymore. Then what happens to your contribution?
The pain of my divorce taught me that I could weather rough emotional turbulence. Building an enterprise requires this skill set. So I thank my former husband for that. As an added bonus I was able to sell the wedding ring to pay and feed the cast and crew of Roomieloverfriends. I'm nothing if not resourceful. :)
Photo by Nkrumah for CRWN Magazine. Leimert Park, Los Angeles CA Floral Maxi & Taupe Sunnies by Forever 21. Vintage Bug by Volkswagen.